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Still only coupons and junkmail and the ongoing assumption that all my mail is still censored and/or stolen anyway.
Zero dollars still and the people at St. Mary's are still pretty much terrified and dumbfounded at the gravity of the situation following the sermon a few days ago on circumcision, human sacrifice, and chasing Jesus away on purpose.
When the bibliomancy responded directly to this problem the arrogant euphoria of New Year's Day turned into morose overcaution and still they won't address me directly.
Tina is on Letterman tonight and I'm always wondering about the warnings involved when she has done so much to get my back in the last long while.
The poverty is killing me, it has been so long and there have been so many bad things accumulated, I know that there are some people from whom I will simply not demand conventional payment anymore, I am grateful for so many media items that I wonder how I am supposed to alienate Hollywood even more than I have with my angry requests, but this Church down the road from me, apparently the biggest Catholic facility in Oregon, they should have known better by now, they should have more than fear and dread when I show up with the Bible in its unfinished state, wanting to find out the rest, wanting to show them the miracle just so they can recoil because the miracle isn't fascist enough.
I thought it would be a joyous thing but instead they feel sad and defeated, scared even, and you know, I don't even care, I just want proper smokes finally and something to help when the foodstamps run low. I thought I'd paid my dues as an ascetic already, I thought I was dead enough already, I thought I'd been subject to the massive catalog of pain already but every day is just another rotten mess of waiting and waiting and waiting again.
For f**k's sake, that is my temple they're working in, and I want a goddam cheeseburger and I want it now, Paul McCartney's veganism notwithstanding, if I could live in any rational way at all without the constant questing for basics then maybe I could quit cheeseburgers in a nrmal way too.
What if I address them in person again today, what then?
What foul thing will happen to them this time if they continue responding so foolishly?
Why should I demand money from all the organizations I never encountered in person, all the people I don't know, the struggling family trusts and so forth, why not the people directly responsible for my plight? Why not an arms dealer or a movie studio or the massive international religious conspiracy who set my apartment up as a video conferencing system from which to launch Christmas Eve itself into the world?
I am to be happy with tv alone?
I am free to do what I please except no correspondance, conversation or real facts around me will go unpunished?
NBC tells me to go to a hospital to get my hand examined but who do I charge this to? How about I find out in another 20 minutes or so?