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Pope Jim

joe l.

ok sounds lke my kind of grope

John the King of Plookers

How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?

10 little piggies

2 calves

1 a ss

and an untold number of hares

John(Lizweedus)

CROSSWORD PUZZLE



It is a quiet afternoon at the Vatican and the Pope decides to do a crossword. after a while, he looks puzzled.



" Can you think of a four-letter word for a woman, ending in 'U-N-T'? " he asks one of his Cardinals.



" Hmm, that would be 'AUNT' " the cardinal replies.



" Oh, of course, " says the Pope: " Can I borrow your eraser ? "




John(Lizweedus)

I was with a girl the other day,

She had peircings all over the place.

Her eyebrows, her lip, her nose etc etc.

She asked me "dya wanna see p***y ring" ?

"No thanks",  I said  "But if I hear it I will answer it for you"

John the King of Plookers

Now for a truly tasteless joke...

Why do women prefer 77 over 69?

Because you get eight more...

Francoise

OF COURSE I happen 2 believe none of such ridiculously exaggerated cliches as portrayed below..... ahem... I just adore the boy's facial expression! Seriously.

Francoise

L 642b729d6fe051793ece323fafa30a5c

Francoise

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:



1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"


3. "Can you hear me NOW?"


4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"


5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."


6 "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"


7. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"


8. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"


9. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."


10. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?" 


11. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."



And the best one of all...


12. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."

acker jawaka

a man goes into see his doctor complaining that he keeps dreaming that he wrote the lord of the rings, so his doctor told him not to worry as he was just tolkein in his sleep

John the King of Plookers

Two lawyers are walking through the woods when suddenly they see a bear charging towards them. The first lawyer immediately sits down, opens his briefcase and begins putting on a pair of tennis shoes. The second lawyer asks 'what are you doing you can't out run a bear?'. First lawyer says 'I just have to out run you'.

John the King of Plookers

Don't let your karma run over your dogma.

Francoise

Happy fun Halloweenie daze!

10 4 1

acker jawaka

vincent van gogh walks into his local pub and his mate shouts over to him "hey vinny would you like a drink" so he shouts back "no ive got one ear"

Carol

Did ya hear the one about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine and died of an overdose.

apostrophe

Love it Carol - that wasn't an option to click...

Carol

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort :o)

Carol

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments!

TSBak

What's really funny is a Gator fan telling 'noles jokes this year.....LOL. J/K, I luv to hate to Gators!

John the King of Plookers

A generous mitten full of yellow snow!